Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
