think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
