Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
