This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
