don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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