She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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