After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize