i don't like sucking hair
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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