Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
