Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
