Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Girls should come with a carfax report
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
