i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
