My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I understand Curling. That high.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
