Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
