walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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