worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
