Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize