i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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