Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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