Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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