She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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