just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
