Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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