What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
