All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
