nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
