He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
