her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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