My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
