I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
