Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
