my soul wont recognize me after tonight
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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