In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
