Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
