So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize