Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
