He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
