That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
