You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
