I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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