Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
