I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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