two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
