Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize