your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
