I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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