I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Welp...herpes.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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