i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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