been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
