DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
