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He uses pillows to masturbate.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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