Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
