You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
