Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
