im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I am full of burrito and curiosity
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize