Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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