we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
