If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
