You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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