she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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