So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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