At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
