"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
