Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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