The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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