Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
